Tuesday, August 12, 2008

Fly Away

You know all those times you've just wanted to escape your life and fly away? Okay, maybe I'm the only one whose ever felt that way - but I doubt it. I seem to have one of those days several times a year. All the pressure of juggling everything will just build up and suddenly, I can't take it anymore. I've learned that a good cry, a good book, or 'girls time' with a friend usually solves the problem and once I go to sleep, I wake up ready to face everything just fine. But never in my married life have I had the chance to actually escape my life for a bit and just leave. Until last week.

At my husband's insistence, I went to Nicole's wedding and for the first time in sixteen years, traveled alone. It was rather strange, but cool too. No one demanded anything of me, no one screamed my name, and I had next to no responsibilities. I forgot how easy it was to be single and have no one to worry about except myself. And yes, I had a blast. Nicole's wedding was so much fun. Unencumbered as a was, I helped out wherever I could and enjoyed visiting with friends and family and taking advantage of the wonderful hospitality of my parents-in-law.

Two days into my little trip, however, I began to feel something (or somebodies) missing. The quiet soon became too quiet. Everything Nicole's nieces and nephews did reminded me of my children. I latched myself onto whatever group of people seemed friendliest because I didn't have a certain place to be or people to be with. I realized that I really missed Jeff's company (and the bed felt way too empty). So after staying up until 4 am talking with my sister to avoid the empty bed for as long as possible, I grabbed a few hours sleep and boarded the plane to go home. It was on the way home that I realized how much I missed my family. I haven't really been away from them often enough to miss them, and now I think that sometimes a mom has to get away before she can appreciate how the pieces of her life fit together. After a wonderful dose of perspective, I was very glad to arrive home without mishap and embrace the wiggling, energetic, noisy bodies that make my life so full right now and fall into Jeff's arms knowing that I belong there.

But now that I've been given wings and found that coming home is as much fun as leaving. Who knows where I might fly?